"The best episode of Take Me Out ever". You'd probably still change the channel, right? Perhaps. But you'd read about it in the aftermath.

Sorry, to be clear, this hasn't happened. Yet. This is not a review; it is, rather, a preview. It is surely a preview.

So here's how it goes down: Host Paddy McGuinness, as is his wont, makes some jokes that are construed as being sexist, chauvinistic and patronising (delete as applicable and more of which later), a group of women are introduced and, then, finally, after an innuendo or two, another human is lowered into the room for the aforementioned women's perusal.

But, on this occasion, it's not a man who's lowered in (it is usually. Check). Instead (drum roll), it's a woman.

The dust has settled, the mainstream tributes have poured in - both knowledgeable and hamfisted - and he's away. Sralex Ferguson - to childishly both respect and denigrate the man's premature honouring - announced his retirement from the managership of Manchester United several weeks ago.

I was shocked. The signs were there earlier in the season - the Wembley Champions League final a tantalising potential farewell, the desperate ambition to wrestle the Premier League title from Manchester City, the distressed reaction to missing out on one and composed satisfaction in securing the other - but they only appeared in hindsight. Ferguson was surely to perish in the line of duty, Lord willing not pitchside like his mentor and friend Jock Stein, but in gainful managerial employment all the same. He was "too old to retire".

Theresa May today announced there would be a six-week consultation over the use of "stop and search" powers by the police. Apparently, she wants to ensure that the police are only using stop and search "when it is needed", as otherwise it is "a dreadful waste of police time", and there is talk of the procedure leading to certain ethnic minority groups - who are seven times more likely to be stopped and searched than white people - feeling persecuted and regarding the action as antagonistic.

What an horrendously, unfeelingly pragmatic way of viewing a truly abhorrent way of treating members of the public. Firstly, the desire for stop and search to only be used when needed is incredibly damning and surely should be expanded upon. The suggestion - which we all know is fact - that police officers are abusing the power, most likely through personal or institutionalised racism - most likely both - should be a declaration in the form of condemnation, not muttered as an issue that needs to be ironed out as it is not resource-effective, especially in the wake of revelations concerning the family of Stephen Lawrence being spied upon. The talk of worries that communities which are most affected by this abuse may be antagonised - resulting in retaliation such as the 2011 civil unrest - is sickening. So it's ok to bully black people as long as there's no chance of them ever causing you a problem off the back of it? What about considering the turmoil each individual is put through?

And so he's off. Luis Suarez, the pantomime villain of the English Premier League has stated that he wishes to depart for pastures new and, as it will come to pass, he will not pull on the red of Liverpool next season.

It's ok. I've celebrated his goals with gusto, I've felt his torture when his majestic runs at defences have culminated in an almost predictable rapping of the woodwork and I've argued against his punishments from the FA even when his actions do not lend themselves to sympathy, but I wish him luck for the future and don't regret him leaving our club behind.

The OCD wet dream of his transitions to and from Anfield both being to the backdrop of a ban, incredibly both for biting an opponent, says enough about the man. As an isolated incident, the Cannibal of Ajax episode could be spun as a momentary lapse, but, as they say, to bite one opponent may be regarded as a misfortune, to bite two looks like carelessness.

Everyone's seen it, everyone's realised it belongs to one of football history's most famous and successful clubs. The new Warrior Liverpool Away shirt is in the public domain, it's out there, it's reflecting on our team.

Let's get some things out of the way. Warrior have paid an awful lot of money to get Liverpool onboard. So have Standard Chartered, and they'll surely be revisited, but let's focus on the kit manufacturer for now. Warrior have paid a lot of money to make the kit so, in some people's twisted logic, they have carte blanche to deliver whatever they like, certainly with change strips. They can take that white card and slap some passé red lines on the sides and corners and scribble some ungodly mess down the bottom.

Well no they f*cking can't. Because, and this is where it goes beyond just being an insult to a legendary club and becomes an insult to human intelligence as well, if it looks terrible, it doesn't sell. Not simply because every Liverpool fan looks at it and is appalled - kit design is subjective, sadly - but because if it looks a bit rubbish then the wonderful British meeja, who are always on the lookout for any excuse to ridicule Liverpool FC, jumps on it and immediately stigmatises it.

I post this article under "Liverpool", and whilst that is practical the fact remains that this story has implications as far reaching as any, with connotations for society in its entirety.

What has been revealed in the documents being made public has shocked many. For there to be so much confirmed and further ambiguity emerging in the news that 41 of the victims may have been saved is viewed by some as a greater disclosure than could have been imagined.

Sadly, the information, the facts, the now received wisdom, is not as shocking. People who have followed the story of Hillsborough and the families' search for justice are not surprised the police have been involved in a cover up, not surprised that statements were amended, not surprised that lies have been told for 23 years. Sadly - most sadly of all - not wholly surprised that almost half of those who passed could have been saved had the disaster been handled better, even after the crush occurred.