"The best episode of Take Me Out ever". You'd probably still change the channel, right? Perhaps. But you'd read about it in the aftermath.

Sorry, to be clear, this hasn't happened. Yet. This is not a review; it is, rather, a preview. It is surely a preview.

So here's how it goes down: Host Paddy McGuinness, as is his wont, makes some jokes that are construed as being sexist, chauvinistic and patronising (delete as applicable and more of which later), a group of women are introduced and, then, finally, after an innuendo or two, another human is lowered into the room for the aforementioned women's perusal.

But, on this occasion, it's not a man who's lowered in (it is usually. Check). Instead (drum roll), it's a woman.

Theresa May today announced there would be a six-week consultation over the use of "stop and search" powers by the police. Apparently, she wants to ensure that the police are only using stop and search "when it is needed", as otherwise it is "a dreadful waste of police time", and there is talk of the procedure leading to certain ethnic minority groups - who are seven times more likely to be stopped and searched than white people - feeling persecuted and regarding the action as antagonistic.

What an horrendously, unfeelingly pragmatic way of viewing a truly abhorrent way of treating members of the public. Firstly, the desire for stop and search to only be used when needed is incredibly damning and surely should be expanded upon. The suggestion - which we all know is fact - that police officers are abusing the power, most likely through personal or institutionalised racism - most likely both - should be a declaration in the form of condemnation, not muttered as an issue that needs to be ironed out as it is not resource-effective, especially in the wake of revelations concerning the family of Stephen Lawrence being spied upon. The talk of worries that communities which are most affected by this abuse may be antagonised - resulting in retaliation such as the 2011 civil unrest - is sickening. So it's ok to bully black people as long as there's no chance of them ever causing you a problem off the back of it? What about considering the turmoil each individual is put through?

Everyone's seen it, everyone's realised it belongs to one of football history's most famous and successful clubs. The new Warrior Liverpool Away shirt is in the public domain, it's out there, it's reflecting on our team.

Let's get some things out of the way. Warrior have paid an awful lot of money to get Liverpool onboard. So have Standard Chartered, and they'll surely be revisited, but let's focus on the kit manufacturer for now. Warrior have paid a lot of money to make the kit so, in some people's twisted logic, they have carte blanche to deliver whatever they like, certainly with change strips. They can take that white card and slap some passé red lines on the sides and corners and scribble some ungodly mess down the bottom.

Well no they f*cking can't. Because, and this is where it goes beyond just being an insult to a legendary club and becomes an insult to human intelligence as well, if it looks terrible, it doesn't sell. Not simply because every Liverpool fan looks at it and is appalled - kit design is subjective, sadly - but because if it looks a bit rubbish then the wonderful British meeja, who are always on the lookout for any excuse to ridicule Liverpool FC, jumps on it and immediately stigmatises it.

The dust has settled, the mainstream tributes have poured in - both knowledgeable and hamfisted - and he's away. Sralex Ferguson - to childishly both respect and denigrate the man's premature honouring - announced his retirement from the managership of Manchester United several weeks ago.

I was shocked. The signs were there earlier in the season - the Wembley Champions League final a tantalising potential farewell, the desperate ambition to wrestle the Premier League title from Manchester City, the distressed reaction to missing out on one and composed satisfaction in securing the other - but they only appeared in hindsight. Ferguson was surely to perish in the line of duty, Lord willing not pitchside like his mentor and friend Jock Stein, but in gainful managerial employment all the same. He was "too old to retire".

And so he's off. Luis Suarez, the pantomime villain of the English Premier League has stated that he wishes to depart for pastures new and, as it will come to pass, he will not pull on the red of Liverpool next season.

It's ok. I've celebrated his goals with gusto, I've felt his torture when his majestic runs at defences have culminated in an almost predictable rapping of the woodwork and I've argued against his punishments from the FA even when his actions do not lend themselves to sympathy, but I wish him luck for the future and don't regret him leaving our club behind.

The OCD wet dream of his transitions to and from Anfield both being to the backdrop of a ban, incredibly both for biting an opponent, says enough about the man. As an isolated incident, the Cannibal of Ajax episode could be spun as a momentary lapse, but, as they say, to bite one opponent may be regarded as a misfortune, to bite two looks like carelessness.

I post this article under "Liverpool", and whilst that is practical the fact remains that this story has implications as far reaching as any, with connotations for society in its entirety.

What has been revealed in the documents being made public has shocked many. For there to be so much confirmed and further ambiguity emerging in the news that 41 of the victims may have been saved is viewed by some as a greater disclosure than could have been imagined.

Sadly, the information, the facts, the now received wisdom, is not as shocking. People who have followed the story of Hillsborough and the families' search for justice are not surprised the police have been involved in a cover up, not surprised that statements were amended, not surprised that lies have been told for 23 years. Sadly - most sadly of all - not wholly surprised that almost half of those who passed could have been saved had the disaster been handled better, even after the crush occurred.

Je ne le crois pas! Joey Barton vient d'arriver à Marseille pour compléter son prêt à l'OM.

C'est un désastre. Ignorez tout ce que vous avez entendu sur sa réputation de milieu de terrain combatif et enthousiaste. C'est la vérité mais c'est sans importance. Joey Barton est un fléau.

Barton ne sera pas un deuxième Chris Waddle, plus vraisemblablement un deuxième James Shayler. Pour tous les bons moments qu'il provoque sur le terrain il cause beaucoup plus de problèmes par son comportement sur et en dehors du stade.

Attaques violentes sur ses coéquipiers, attaques violentes sur des membres du public, attaques violentes sur ses adversaires - résultant en cartons rouges - querelles fatales avec ses entraineurs, il a tout fait. Si on pensait que Hatem Ben Arfa representait un problème on n'a encore rien vu.

Liverpool play Norwich today. I hope Liverpool win. Much, much more, whatever the result, I hope we don't boo our players, our manager or, for those who believe it to be that vague, our club.

Liverpool will be going to Wembley thrice in 2012. Kenny Dalglish, the supposed failure in the mainstream press for admittedly poor league form, is one game away from a two trophy season, but still it seems Anfield attendees are buying into the opinions and agendas of the newspapers - a collective we have always been at odds with. It's a worrying development.

Speaking of "failures", for two games running Andy Carroll delivered victory with a late header, the most recent over Merseyside rivals Everton in the FA Cup semi-final played at Wembley. That particular win was inordinately welcome, firstly because it is always enjoyable to reach a cup final - The Cup Final - and secondly because we got one over the bitter Toffees, again, though both of these reasons pale into insignificance compared with the third reason: we have the opportunity to beat Chelsea - now quite possibly to instigate a role reversing parallel of our fortunes in 2005 when a loss in a domestic final preceded our Champions League triumph.

L'Olympique de Marseille contre Paris St Germain. Le Classique. Un match sans consequences ce soir.

Pour l'OM. Mais pour le PSG la victoire etait primordiale et a cause de cela il etait imperatif que les jouers de l'OM mouillent leurs maillots et faisent de leur mieux pour gagne ou au moins faire un match nul avec les memes consequences.

It est vrai que les parisiens sont fiers de ses couleurs - sans se soucier de ce qu'elles representent et en oublient que le club a autorisé Nike a retrograder les memes couleurs sur le maillot exterieur en 2010, et c'est vrai que la bas c'est Paris. Qu'ils y restent. Mais nous aussi sommes fiers de nos couleurs, le blanc et blue phoceen et mediterraneen portés ce soir, et aussi l'orange utilisé par les South Winners antifasciste pour entagoniser les skinheads du Kop Boulogne. Il ne faut pas oublier ça.

So Transfer Deadline Day (sic) happened again. Lots of players moved, as is the point of such an occasion, Liverpool bought back former player (and former Celt) Craig Bellamy, Celtic welcomed Badr El Kaddouri and again bade farewell to Shaun Maloney (good business but sad times), l'OM kept Valbuena, Lucho and Gignac...thankfully.

Oh, and Raul Meireles did a Torres. He had a great season last year, he wasn't in Dalglish's first team plans, that was obvious so he handed in a transfer request - though not at 10:30pm as some Liverpool fans misunderstood and had a very brief chuckle about. He made the correct decision in leaving Anfield for the sake of his career but the manner in which he went about it, the timing and the club he chose to join is both inexplicable and insulting. Why does a player that witnesses the method of a fellow Iberian's departure causing such uproar decide to follow that lead?

So it's finally here. What you've all been waiting for had no idea was coming, the world's first Olympique de Marseille, Celtic FC & Liverpool FC blogging site.

Basically this will mean me, Jay, writing about my favourite football teams and various other things. You may agree with me on some points, disagree on others, but hopefully you'll find it somewhat entertaining and not feel that you've wasted however much time you've spent on the site.

There are several sections and you may be able to subscribe to rss feeds for whichever part is of most interest (though possibly not at time of writing). So if you are a fan of Liverpool, for example, you can focus your attentions on that tab and ignore everything else I prattle on about.

As well as blogging about l'OM, Celtic and Liverpool, the site will also host news about the London-based football team I set up a couple of years ago, Marceltipool. Our occasional games are great fun and the club should build in line with this website so it may be worth keeping an eye on.

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